The Wounded Healer
Whether we like to talk about it or not, whether we like to remember it or not, most of us have experienced early childhood traumas while growing up which still affect our lives until today in both positive and negative ways.
For most of us, we suffered from our parents or relatives who raised us in the first seven years of our lives.
“Between the third to seventh years of a child’s life is the time when something that happens to the child is carried in their subconscious and its carried so heavy that it becomes the hub on which the entire movement of life is” ~ Yogi Bhajan
Neglect, abandonment, physical, sexual, emotional and mental abuse are all ways in which we were hurt as children by those who raised us, by those whose job was to protect us and make us feel safe, complete and whole.
Early childhood trauma is something that we can only explore when our soul is ready to go deep into the journey of the past, to look into and feel the pain and begin the healing journey.
For most us, it is present day relationship challenges and phobias that shake us up like a wake up that calls us to pay close attention to those hidden ghosts and unhealed wounds.
My own healing journey through childhood trauma has taught me that the pain we experience in the past is what makes us who we are today and also that the more we learn to heal ourselves, the more that we become healers, teachers and mentors to support others on their healing journeys.
Healing begins with a readiness to dive into the dark past, to remember the memories, to feel the pain, and to recount the stories and bring them to the surface with a torch of light. This is where therapy is important.
The job of a therapist is to hold a safe space for us to open up and explore the depths of our wounds, the impact that they continue to have on our lives today and the lessons we can draw from them about ourselves in order to learn, grow and serve the world.
Seeking guidance is an important stepping stone in order to better understand our reactions to our hidden wounds – are we blocking them? Ignoring them? Minimising them? Blaming ourselves or others? Regretting? Diverting our anger towards others? Inverting our anger towards ourselves?
Yoga, Meditation & Arts:
The practices of yoga and meditation including pranayam and yoga nidra activate the right hemisphere of the brain, clear the subconscious and activate the frontal lobe which help us make healthy decisions about the future that are not held back by past traumatic experiences. In addition, practices such as art, music, dance, singing and poetry also develop the right side of the brain and bring healing and balance to an over-world left side of the brain.
“When you do not have the security of the childhood it is a very severe confinement. It puts you totally out of balance to the extent that you do not enjoy the development of the projective hemisphere, that is the right hemisphere of the brain and then you have a tremendous amount of insecurity which you have to meet with the elementary brain, that is the left hemisphere and overtax it and overwork it. Therefore when you become in the age of eighteen to thirty six you start acting most of the time like a child. You need appreciation, you need support, you need somebody to tell you you are beautiful. You are, what you are.” ~ Yogi Bhajan
Healing trauma is only possible when we have a remembrance, a reverence and surrender to our Higher power – God the Almighty, the Universal force of creation and creativity. Remembering always that all the good, bad and ugly happens through His Divine Will and that our souls’ have chosen to reincarnate in the the families where we were born to learn the lessons that we needed to have impact into the world.
What we choose to do with our trauma is what will shape our today and tomorrow. We can either live in fear, shame, blame, self pity, to be hurt, to be the victim to avoid responsibility and so on or we can
“Decide to be whole, to be healed, to be love, loved and in love.
Decide to be sharing, caring, kindness, beauty, bliss,
Decide to be healthy, happy, whole. Decide to be grateful and abundant.
Decide to be real, authentic, honest. Decide to be clear and intuitive.
Decide to be effective, efficient and intelligent. Purity, compassion, peace,
Decide to live by the highest principles with values, and to manifest the virtues.”
~ Shiv Charan Singh
And from there, we can begin to heal others, through our presence, through our words and through our being-ness.
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